


Separation Anxiety

by yukiawison



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, M/M, comforting fluff, post update
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-23 16:33:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6122608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yukiawison/pseuds/yukiawison
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bitty gets a phone call at 3 a.m.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Separation Anxiety

"Hello? Jack?" Bitty rubbed his eyes as his vision blurred in the dark. He looked at his alarm clock: 3 a.m.

"Bitty can I..." His voice came in shuttering gasps, shaking and hoarse as if he'd been crying. "Can we meet somewhere? I need to," he hiccuped. "I need to see you Bittle. I need..."

"Slow down honey, it's okay. I'll meet you in front of the Haus? And we can go up quietly together?"

"Merci," he breathed, he tended to switch languages when he was nervous. 

"There ain't any need to thank me. I'll see you soon."

Bitty pulled on his Samwell sweatshirt and slipped on his shoes, giving himself a once over in the mirror. He'd been dating Jack Zimmermann for about 2 months, since that kiss in his room.This was the first time he'd been back since graduation. They'd only been on a few dates, though they'd texted and Skyped the whole time he'd been gone. What this was about Bitty had no idea, but Jack sounded scared, and he couldn't stand to see him scared.

He stepped out into the chilled air and looked out into the blackness for his boyfriend. He sat down on the front steps of the Haus and waited. Jack's hotel wasn't far, he'd be there soon. Headlights shined ahead of him and he looked up. There he was, pulling up to the Haus with frightened blue eyes. He got out of the car and Bitty met him halfway across the lawn, dew soaking his pajama pants. 

"Jack what's wrong? You're shaking..." Jack bridged the gap between them and kissed him before he could continue. 

"I..." He was stuttering and shaking.

"Hey, hey it's okay," Bitty wrapped his arms around him, head in Jack's chest near his spastic heart. 

"I haven't had a panic attack since high school, not one this bad," he felt his hands going numb and tried to focus his breathing like he was supposed to do. What he wouldn't do to reach for a pill and make it go away. Bitty was looking at him, horrified. 

He couldn't breath. "Sit down, sit down. Breathe Jack," Bitty guided him to the steps and rubbed gentle circles on his back as he leaned his head between his knees and tried to regain control of his body.

Bitty had never seen a panic attack before. He knew Jack had had them, and he knew that at their worst they could feel like dying, but he'd never seen someone he loved in such distress.

After awhile Jack could breathe again and he could feel himself calming down. Except now he had to face the fact that he'd just let Eric Bittle, his boyfriend, see his true colors, the side of himself he tried desperately to hide.

"Jack," he heard Bitty say from what seemed like a million miles away. "What happened?"

He looked over at him and saw his face flood with concern. Bitty kissed him again to lend him some of his confidence.

"I'm supposed to do a TV interview for a segment about up and coming NHL players...and I, remember when we saw that announcer talking about me?"

Bitty remembered, his fists clenched at the thought. 

"I don't want it be be like that...like my past, and it's all flooding back."

"Then don't do it," Bitty said, his hand covering Jack's.

"The team needs the press and I know I'm going to have to go on TV sometime if I want any kind of career."

"Jack..."

"You know it's true Bits. I just don't want to rehash everything, not in front of..."

"In front of me?" Bitty moved closer. "Is that what you were going to say?"

Jack didn't look at him, but he nodded.

"Don't worry about me. I believe in you no matter what."

But did Bitty really know the what? He had a feeling he'd avoided googling him out of respect. 

"Bittle I want to tell you. I want you to hear it from me before you defend me."

"You don't have to..."

"But I want to," he said, getting up off the steps and standing in front of him. He'd have more courage that way.

"There was always a lot of pressure on me when I was a kid, and all through growing up. And I started having problems with anxiety when I was in middle school," he sucked in a breath. "And I started taking medication for it. And the more anxious I was the more pills I was taking and then I needed them to function and I...one day I..." His voice caught.

"You overdosed," Bitty filled in quietly. 

"And they pumped my stomach and put me in rehab and therapy and my career went out the window for a long time. And ever since then I've been trying to be this together person that I've never been and I'm just so tired."

"Hey," Jack looked up at him for the first time and saw that there were tears in his eyes. "It's okay not to be okay. I hope you know that."

How did Eric Bittle manage to turn his world upside down with every kind word and bright smile and slice of pie? How could he?

"I don't hear it a lot. So I forget," he whispered, and the night seemed even colder and lonelier with that admission, that is until Bitty's arms were around him again, whispering encouraging words into his chest and squeezing him tighter than he knew was possible.

"Do you want to come up? I don't even understand how you drove here, and I don't want you to be alone."

Jack grinned, flushing pink in the dark. "Really?"

"Of course," Bitty replied, similarly flustered. "If you want."

Jack hadn't been in Bitty's bed. And he'd never worn one of his shirts, too small for him but comforting because it was Bitty's. 

Bitty had never slept in a bed with someone else, and he didn't know quite how to do it. He let Jack have all the space and blankets he wanted but he quickly shrugged off his boyfriend's courtesy by tangling with him, arms around his waist, chin on top of his head, breath gentle and contented. 

When Bitty woke up, late because it was Saturday, Jack's limbs were still curled with his. Sunlight seeped through the curtains and made him squint. He was hungry, and missing the kitchen. 

Somehow the events of the previous night made him care for Jack Zimmermann more, now he could protect him as he'd always been protected. 

He pulled on an apron and got to work on a triple batch of his pancake batter. 

"Good morning," he turned to find Jack smiling at him from the door frame, still in his shirt but now with jeans.

"Good morning."

"Thanks for last night," he came closer and brushed some flour from Bitty's hair. 

"I told you there was nothing to thank me for," he stopped, thought forming but not quite reaching his lips. "Can I tell you something Jack Zimmerman?"

"Anything."

"I think you're brave, and I love you."

Jack had barely formed his I love you too when Bitty's lips were on his, pancakes forgotten, kitchen sweet and perfect for other reasons...very good reasons.

**Author's Note:**

> IM OBSESSED


End file.
